Don't Worry, Be Happy

As any parent, especially a parent of children with special needs, I've certainly spent my fair share of time worrying. Should I or shouldn't I allow the doctors to do this surgery? What about school placement? Will allowing them to diagnose him with autism label him for life? Will he make friends? Will he be happy? Will he be able to live on his own? Everyone can relate to these feelings on some level.

A couple years ago it dawned on me. No matter how much I worry and stress over things, it never changes the outcome. What??? I can't worry us into the right decision? I can't change the facts if I just stress over it enough? You mean to tell me, I'm not in control???

Since then I've been trying really hard to live by the motto "if you can't change it, worrying won't help." If you can do something about it - fabulous! Do something! But there are so many things in life that are out of our control, and for those things we've just got to let it go. Find something positive in the situation and focus solely on that. Besides, many times I've found that you're worrying over the wrong thing anyways.

Of course, I'm far from perfect at this. Before this school year started I was so nervous about Little Man starting school. He was moving from one self-contained setting to another and I was afraid his needs wouldn't be met.

As for Beans, I was pretty sure things would go easily. He's been at the same school for two years, this shouldn't have been a big deal. I worried myself sick over Little Man. I had dreams of getting him back into his school in Utah, nightmares about all the things that could happen, so many fears that I let take hold.And what came of it? NOTHING! Little Man seems to be in a beautiful placement, his teacher understands him and is meeting him on his level. The occupational therapist already has big plans to accommodate him and work with him. Even the transition wasn't as bad as I'd feared.

And then of course is Beans. Tomorrow will be his EIGHTH day out of school for the year...guess how many days school has been in session. Yup, eight. Is he sick? Nope! The school is still not prepared to care for him. Tomorrow will be our third meeting in hopes of getting this resolved. That doesn't include the letters and phone calls with the district administration, school administration and his teachers. Tomorrow I'm better prepared than ever, instead of worrying I'm doing everything I can to be ready. I have letters from his pediatrician, his complex care nurse and an education advocate will be attending with me. I am determined we will get this resolved and get Beans back to what he does best - being a kid.

The next time life has us stressed out, we need to take a step back, take a deep breath and think - is there really anything I can do to change this? If the answer is yes, get up and do it. If the answer is no, we've got to let go. Look at our child's smile, find our strength and peace and just keep going on.