Tuesday the kids' had their Open Houses. Little Man was so excited to see his teacher. He had a fabulous time and didn't want to leave. Next we went to Beans' school and found out he has the teacher I was hoping for. He ran into the classroom and gave her a big hug. We discussed a bit of what his care would entail and they assured me it wasn't a big deal.Wednesday we had the big Plan of Care meeting for Beans. This is where everyone involved in his care - teachers, guidance counselor, coach, district nurse, principal, etc - and I all meet to discuss every aspect. This includes who will feed him and when, PE, recess, signs he's in trouble, what to do in different circumstances. I brought a book I'd prepared with all of his information, a list of questions and handouts for each staff member who will have contact with him.
The meeting went fabulous! I left knowing Beans would be in great hands, that he'd be able to have every opportunity the other kids have, but that he would participate safely with the correct precautions and accommodations in place.
Thursday morning arrived and Little Man was beyond excited. I helped him get ready and he happily bounced onto the bus and off to school. Beans woke pretty apprehensive and didn't seem to be feeling great. I chalked it up to first day of school jitters and sent him on his way. You can tell he's not too happy about it. :(
I arrived at Bean's school for his 10:00 feeding to show his teachers how to feed him one last time. It's never a good sign when the teacher asks if you can step into the hall to talk. I was told that after I had left the day before, the principal decided it would be too upsetting to the other students for Beans to be fed in the back of the classroom in the office area. The teacher also said something about liability in case something happened. Now, if this was his first time being fed at school, or even first time at this school I could understand this, but this is Beans' third year at this school and he's always been fed by a teacher or parapro.I took him to the clinic to be fed as I had no choice then. I told the receptionist at the front desk that I needed to see the principal IMMEDIATELY after I was done with the feed. Things were about to go from disappointing to pretty dang bad.
The principal and I went into her office and she told a completely different story about why Beans could not be fed as we agreed upon and presented an alternate plan which would make him miss 20 minutes of math and 20 minutes of reading every day. In addition to that, she said that she wasn't comfortable after all with him participating in either recess or PE. The only thing that didn't change was that he was going to have an alternate activity while his class was at lunch, but it had never been decided what that activity was. So basically in the course of a few minutes, Beans went from having a very typical day at school to missing half his academic time, recess, PE and lunch (which is unavoidable). This momma was pissed! Absolutely unacceptable. After going round and round and neither of us being willing to make any concessions, I told her that I wasn't willing to discuss this further at that time, that I was taking Beans and would be in contact with her after I'd had time to think things over.
Honestly, I think that meeting with the principal was the most upsetting meeting I've EVER had. EVER. Not only was everything we agreed upon blown to pieces, my son wasn't being allowed any of the things kids look forward to at school, he was going to miss almost half his academic time every single day, and then to top it off she made two unforgettable comments. She said that the other kids would be scared by Beans. What??? After two years, they're suddenly going to be scared of him? He's something to be scared of??? WTH?!? Then she kept repeating, "I know you want him to be a normal kid, but....." I left, with Beans in hand, literally sick.
Monday I sat and listened to his doctor confirm he had a condition with no cure that had been plainly diagnosable since he was two years and he'd suffered for years for no reason. Then I had to watch him tell Beans that he can't eat anything for at least a year. Then for the principal to tell me the couple of things Beans was actually looking forward to - being a normal kid and doing recess and PE with his friends - were being ripped away too was just more than I could handle.
Thanks to my wonderful EOS and Special Needs friends and family, mostly on Facebook, along with my real life family, I armed myself with the law. The law that says my son can not be discriminated against. Cannot be forced to special ed when he can be safely taken care of in a regular classroom. That the school must provide the appropriate accommodations and safety precautions to keep him safe.
Thursday night, since I couldn't sleep anyways, I emailed both his teachers, the principal, assistant principal, guidance counselor, director of special ed for the district and the district superintendent. I outlined the care Beans required at school, the principal's proposed plan and why each part of it weren't acceptable and illegal. I explained what needed to happen - immediately - and that he won't be returning to school until an acceptable plan was in place with all the appropriate accommodations.
Friday morning, first thing, the principal called me and requested an IEP meeting for Monday morning. For those unfamiliar with the special education process, you NEVER get an IEP meeting the next day. I have contacted Beans' pediatrician and they are putting together a letter for me. I have also contacted an advocacy group. He WILL have every opportunity afforded to every other student. I will attend the meeting armed with the law. I honestly am not sure what to expect, but I do know that I will not send Beans back to school until things are signed for and legal in his IEP. No more of this verbal agreement. If they refuse to provide what he needs, I will take this to the next level.
This would be unacceptable in any case. There is nothing I can do about his EE, nothing I can do about him not eating, but there is plenty I can do to make sure he is treated with the same respect as every other child at school. I will do whatever it takes. What. Ever.
As for Little Man, he had a hard transition home after his first day, but his second day was fabulous! He had a perfect day of being on task. He came home super happy, was so pleasant to be around, and has continued with the most amazing attitude. He even got out a notebook and wrote about "My Mother" (me) and asked me to write a math quiz for him. Think he's excited?? I am so thrilled for him. If his year continues this way, it will be wonderful.
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