Sunday, July 10, 2011

Confessions

Confession 1 ~ I have had more fun in the past week than in a very long time.

When you're mom to two special needs kids, you (well, I) don't stop to think about what you could or would have been doing, you do what needs to get done and you enjoy every day laughing and playing with your kids. You realize that they are such a treasure, such fabulous little monsters, that you would and have given up almost everything else to care for them.

This past week I feel like I've jumped back a few years.. Yeah, I still have two monkeys to care for, but I've managed to do that while going out and having fun, and they've had a lot of fun while doing it.

Confession 2 ~ I really need to get a sitter and/or nursing set up here.

As much as I love having them around, sometimes a person just wants to go do something without having rugrats in tow. This weekend we went to Connecticon and, for the most part, it was fine having the kids along, sometimes they even made it more fun. Then there were the times when Little Man got overstimulated and had a meltdown after we'd waited in line a really long time for a show. We had to leave before the real show even started because he couldn't handle the volume of the music and the crowd of people. :( Beans and I were both so disappointed and, I know it's not fair, but I admit I got frustrated with Little Man. Beans was on the verge of tears when we walked out, but there was no saving the show as Little Man was already grabbing his head and screaming. *Sigh*

Beans is getting older and wanting to do more exciting things, things that Little Man cannot handle. I really want to be able to take him to these things, he absolutely deserves to have his own space, and it may be the unspoken secret of parents, but sometimes I want to have fun too. :P

Confession 3 ~ There may be something to this two parent setup.

I have gotten terribly spoiled this last while, between my brother and friends I've been able to get a regular break and we've spent quite a bit of time tag teaming where I've taken one kid and someone else has had the other. What a nice arrangement this is! :D Our whole drive up to New England from Florida my brother and I each had a kid, at the mall and at time during Connecticon this weekend Pax has taken one of the kids, I'm beginning to think maybe there is a reason families generally come with two parents.

Confession 4 ~ I have a love/hate relationship with autism.

I love the way Little Man's brain works. I hate that he can't handle loud noises, gets upset in crowds, and has a hard time paying attention to things and people around him. I love the things he comes up with and the ways he thinks that others don't. I hate that it's hard for him to learn. I love the things he finds great enjoyment in that many wouldn't notice. I hate that it's hard to take him many places and do many things with him. Honestly though, if we can find a way to get through these hard things, I can't wait to see what that special mind will come up with.

Confession 5 ~ Beans is one amazing kid.

Of course I already knew this, but this weekend seeing him totally in his element I found myself in awe of this 10 year old of mine. He's so gosh darn smart. He's so social he'll talk to about anyone especially if they know, look like they might know, or happen to be around when he starts talking Pokemon. This past week he's gained so much confidence. He used to try to hide his feeding tube from everyone. Suddenly he doesn't care. His shirt comes off right away when he swims and he's even freely told people about his tube and formula. He's so very mature maybe too much for his age. Between the stuff he's gone through himself and having a brother who takes so much, he has become quite the young man. Did I mention he's amazing? ;)

Lastly, you didn't think you were going to get away without pics did you? :D

Little Man and Beans at Connecticon

Beans and Pax

I think Beans is hoping Pax will adopt him. I have to pry Beans off of him every time we leave.

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