Perspective

Having two special needs kids has of course had a profound approach on my perspective about life. It has completely altered my viewpoint on just about everything. One of the biggest things I've had to come to grips with is the 'd' word - disability - and what it truly means in our lives. Learning has always come extremely easily to me and I always believed that if you just worked hard enough you could attain anything. In my prior mind, disability just meant you had to work a little harder. Looking back now, that really doesn't make much sense. Would you tell a paraplegic he could walk if he just tried harder? Would you tell a blind person they could see if they just tried harder? While I understood those physical disabilities I thought completely differently about cognitive and emotional disabilities.

This past year has brought about a very distinct change in my perspective. While getting diagnosis after diagnosis on Little Man has been unbelievably hard, it has also precipitated a change in me that I believe is helping him vastly more than my "just keep trying and you'll get it" mindset. Not that I've given up hope, no I'll never do that. Amazing things can and do happen and there's still a part of me that hopes if we keep trying then he'll overcome these struggles. But now instead of being so focused on the cure I'm learning to be thrilled with all the smaller steps that many take for granted.

Having a special needs child has a bucket load of extra heartaches and frustrations but it also has a truckload of extra joy. Little Man having a friend, planning a birthday party, him telling me "oops sorry, I was in your personal space," Beans coming home with a twinkle in his eye and telling me who sat by him at lunch, Little Man feeling a sense of pride and success when he completes his work for the day. These are all things that just thrill me. Seeing them overcome challenges is the most exciting thing in the world.

Every parent gets excited at the big "firsts" - first steps, first words, first smile. As a special needs parent you get so many more "firsts" to be excited about. Maybe the finish line has changed, maybe Little Man will graduate with an alternate diploma, maybe he'll be in special classes his whole school career and need support at a job. I have learned to accept what is and how hard he tries everyday. He is a wonderful boy and works harder to get through each day than many of us and he doesn't let it get him down. If he can do that then surely, as his parent and strongest supporter, so can I.